A couple weeks ago I went home and found this note to myself on my bed. I had written it in 8th grade and my mom was supposed to keep it for me until I graduated from high school. The following is what I said in it, word for word (including spelling errors.)
April 16, 2003
Dear Mom and Dad and Me,
Since 6th grade I have changed incredibly. First of all I have matured and grown. I am taller, but I have also learned to handle my time easier too. I am stronger emotionally. I don't cry if someone says something mean to me anymore. I have also learned to act like myself so everyone knows my true personality.
Through the past three years I have buitt many strengths. I have become a good actress. I'm not nervous on stage and I've learned to recite with emotion. I am now a stronger leader too. I am a web leader at school and know how to take care of myself, but I am also learning to lead at church and in the community. I have also learned to work in groups well and be proud of who I am.
There are a couple of things I would like to do over. I would have liked to have more fun and not worry so much about homework. In seventh grade I wouldn't have taken the ocean book. I would have been more honest considering I didn't even use the book. I also would have worked harder in band on drums . Then maybe I would have continued band.
I am almost completely ready for highschool. I am ready for the homework load, considering how much we've already done, and I am totally ready to meet new people. Some things I do need to accomplish though are to end the year with good grades and become friendlier. Then maybe I'll gain more friends.
There are many dreams I want to accomplish in highschool. I want to get a letter for a jacket, be a Rythm Bee, become a valid victorian, be on student leadership, and make a lot more friends. To do this I will need to work hard on homework and studying, be friendly to everyone, and have fun.
Love,
Kristin
Shawn-most admired person
job-actress
food-french fries, slushies, popcorn, tacos, brownies
book-harry potter 2 and 4
classes-history, pe, band
best friend(s)-lauren
song-I'm just a kid by simple plan
group-switchfoot
actor-ashton kutcher
tv show-my wife and kids, smallville, more
pastime-playing games with my family-going on vacation-hanging out with friends-going to water waves w/ lauren
After looking at it I began to laugh. It was amazing to me the things that were the same, the things that were different, and my aspirations. I have no idea what ocean book I am talking about taking, lol. Random! I also noticed how my only friend was Lauren. My how that changed! It is funny to see how most of my favorite foods are the same. I can still remember that for years afterwards I wanted to change my favorite actor because I after I gave it to my mom I remembered that Tom Welling was my favorite actor. I think it is really cool how I also fulfilled some of my dreams like getting a letter and becoming a Rhythm "bee" as I put it.
Some things also saddened me. I noticed that I said I didn't want to worry about homework as much and instead have more fun. I think I tried this a little, but not really. Instead I added more duties to my plate with all the activities I chose to do. I do not regret doing the activities, but it is strange how I never changed this aspect of my life. I do worry a lot, and it is interesting how I put "worry about my homework." I guess this worry has been ingrained in me for a long time. Sorry guys!
The thing that saddens me the most is where I said I wanted to be friendlier so I could make more friends. Freshman year of high school was an incredibly sad and lonely year. Even being a freshman here has been hard on me. I can say I have grown a little more in my methods of gaining friends compared to high school, but it has never been what I always dreamed of. I always said I wanted to be so called "friendlier." I realize an issue with this though. I would consider myself friendly, the problem is I am not "outwardly" friendly. I thing I should have said I would like to be more extroverted. It is so easy for me to keep to myself until someone talks to me and then I can be friendly. It is sad how this thing I wanted so bad hasn't really changed. I am not saying I don't have friends and I don't appreciate the ones I have. I just imagined myself being more open and excited towards others. Maybe I should set this goal for myself again and try it again next year? I can hope so.
On a lighter note, it is rather funny the differences between eigth grade and being a freshman in college. Not only the way i write is different, but I also don't think I am planning on becoming a famous actress anymore either. : )
I have a question for you now. What did you want for yourself 1, 5, 10 years ago? Have you accomplished it? Or are you like me and say, "huh, what happened?"
3 comments:
I think we both know what happened with me. I got the one thing I wanted most (you) and failed at the rest. : )
well i know for me i lik todys kristin just fine. Wouldnt change anything =)
I wanted to be an engineer and build bridges to connect the world, bringing it together... 1 year ago... Then I'd say between 2 and 5 years I wanted to be involved, I wanted people to know who I was out side of school... aka the church... and well, I would say that the day I broke that stick thing and gave it to god, was the one day where I will always remember me say "hey god, show me you!" and that is one thing I have achieved. 5 years ago... I wanted a relationship with a boy and that did happen... and I've always said I was going to be a teacher, and so far, that is what god has laid out for me!
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