Fear

One thing that I know is flowing through me right now is fear. I have nine days of school left and so much ahead of me. It wasn't me who made me think of this though, it was someone else. He let me know that he was scared, scared of me leaving next year. What is it that we are all scared of? I know we have different reasons:

"Will we still be friends if she goes off to college? Will I ever get to see her? Will she even care about me? Will she move on? Will she need me any more? Will she grow up and I will miss it? Will I be lonely without her? How do I deal with the time when she is not around? What will I do at lunch? Can I trust her? What am I missing out on while she is gone?"

I know that these are a few of the questions people are probably thinking, but I have some questions myself:

"How will I change? What kind of stress will I have to deal with? How do I meet new people? How will I deal with missing my friends? Will I have time to go home? How will my parents and friends handle it? Will we make it? Will I pass? How do I deal with living with someone else? Why am I going again?"

I have fears, you have fears. It is frickin scary! I know the only way I can do this though is through support from my friends and family that are so scared, and from God. Now that scares me. I don't think I have heard from God for awhile now, but that is a whole different issue. I am hoping that we can look past the fear and have faith in God and each other. I hope that this fear can go away and we can enjoy the time we have. I still have 3 months, I know that doesn't sound like much, but we have to make the most of it. Please don't be scared and I won't be scared. The only thing we can do is pray for the best and rely on the friendships and trust we already have. I thank you for caring so much for me and I promise I will always do the same...whether I am here...or in Newberg...